I am loving The Gilded Age on HBOMax or HBO? Max? Whatever it is, I am always looking forward to that hour on Sunday night. Julian Fellowes’ epic drama of New York Society is as delicious as a large order of french fries.
It is thoughtful, interesting, layered, and insightful. My favorite element is the somewhat voyeuristic peek into those histories less told: the inner lives of women, the plight of closeted gay men, African American class relations, and the complexities of divorce.
Plus, the costumes! The hair! The hats! And oh yes, the jewelry.
Recently, (no major spoilers ahead), we’ve seen a tiara or two. We’ve also been reminded of the lack thereof. In episode five of Season Three, the young heiress and now Duchess of Buckingham, Gladys Russell (played by Taissa Farmiga), shares a scene with her maid Adelheid (played by Erin Wilhelmi). Now ensconsced in her lonely British estate, Gladys is preparing for her first major dinner party, and Adelheid, who traveled with her from New York, is styling her hair. Adelheid, the only constant from her former life, suggests a beautiful cascade of glittering stars.
When Gladys enters the dining room, she is instantly reprimanded by Sarah, her new sister-in-law.
“If I can wear a tiara, so can you.”
This made me wonder: What is it like to wear a tiara? And who wears one?
Diana, Princess of Wales, said the famous “Lover’s Knot” tiara, originally commissioned in 1914 for Queen Mary, gave her a splitting headache. Here she is wearing it in 1989 on a state visit to Hong Kong.
We didn’t see it again until 2015 when Kate Middleton, then Duchess of Cambridge, wore it to a reception at Buckingham Palace.
Here are some basic (and by no means exhaustive) rules on tiara-wearing.
No ring? No dice.
Tiaras are traditionally reserved for married women or brides on their wedding day. According to Tatler, “this is because of the tiara’s roots in classical antiquity - it was seen as the emblem of the loss of innocence to the crowning of love.”
Placement must be on point.
Tatler explains that the tiara should not be more than an inch and a half from your hairline. “Put your thumb on the dimple of your chin and your index finger on the gap in between your eyebrows. Keeping that measurement, move your thumb up to where your finger was. Your index finger should now be touching the base of the tiara in your hair.”
If it’s inherited, adjust accordingly.
Most tiaras are lent to nobility or royalty “for life.” Experts advise the fancy people to make it count and update the piece to match their hair color.
Let it get crusty.
Dirtier hair makes for a better grip. Don’t wash your hair before you wear a tiara.
Consuelo Vanderbilt, the heiress whom many say Gladys is modeled after, had her own tiara moments. She preferred wearing a “coronet” since it was lighter.
When it comes to Gladys, I’m all about the beautiful stars. This young woman doesn’t need a hefty tiara; she’s carrying enough weight.
Take care of your hearts.