The Rings Around Venice
I'm talking about Lauren Sanchez
The media circus has been circus’ing around Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos’ wedding for weeks now. The two are finally hitched, and we can all stop hearing about their massive Venetian bridal weekend. Well, maybe. The news cycle keeps sprinkling more details:
Orlando Bloom showed up solo! Oprah and Gayle! No gifts policy! Protesters! Elaborate Jeff Bezos dummies floating in the water! That rehearsal dinner dress that is giving Marie Antoinette!
I just wanted to see her damn wedding dress.
In my opinion, it’s meh but far more tasteful than I expected. What continues to be completely lacking in sophistication is…and I’m going to say it… her jewelry.
Bezos is very into diamonds: rings, bands, necklaces, ovals, squares, pink, white. According to The Independent, the total amount of diamond jewelry he has gifted his new wife hovers between $7-8 million. But I’m not here to critique his love language, I want to talk about size……
The Pink One
Sanchez’s eye-popping pink diamond has gotten the most attention, probably because we’ve seen it since he proposed back in 2023. Pink diamonds are rare, an estimated 0.1% of all diamonds mined. Ninety percent of pink diamonds came from the Argyle mine in Western Australia before it was closed in 2020. Shuttered for its decrease in production and profitability, the value of the pink diamond has gone on to swell significantly. So maybe (pink) diamonds are not forever?
Page Six estimates it to be around 25-30 carats with a value of 2.5 million dollars.
The Oval One
This weekend, Sanchez added an elongated oval diamond to her left hand. Reportedly designed by celeb-designer Lorraine Schwartz, Page Six (again) estimates it is 40-45 carats with a value of $6 million.
Why even write about something like this? Am I jealous? Honestly, no. I just think it’s an interesting choice ripe for analysis. These types of pieces can act as a form of armor, a type of blingy repellent.
Overly large diamonds are beautiful, glittery walls standing between people. Like all jewelry, it’s half self-identification and half performance. We use pieces with the intention, consciously or subconsciously, of distinguishing ourselves and/or fitting into a group. With something this enormous, there’s an added message: “I am completely and utterly unapproachable.” If you’re an introvert, it’s a fancy shortcut to less social interaction.
There’s the less generous assumption that the person is just gross, dripping in hubris, and communicating a very strong “don’t even try to talk to me.” Perhaps an overly empathic analysis would guess that it might be some (very expensive) form of mean girl insecurity. “Pick me! I have the big diamond!”
Whatever it means to Mrs. Lauren Sanchez Bezos, we may never know. Everyone and their mother is writing about carats and dollars and clarity and color. But I think these rocks send a strong message. Ultimately, it’s up to the spectator to choose their interpretation. You know I have. ;)
Take care of your hearts (and insure your valuables).