Too Blessed
to know how you are really doing
How are you?
Easy enough question, right? A recent catch-up coffee with a friend from high school reminded me of a response I haven’t heard in a long time.
“Blessed and highly favored.”
If you haven’t had someone say this to you, you’re probably a New Englander. Or a foreigner. Or live on the West Coast. I have only heard “blessed and highly favored” in the southern half of the United States.
Then I moved to New York City.
“Baruch Hashem.”
My first interaction with an observant Jew in my college dorm included a Hebrew phrase I’d never heard.
The depths of Maine gave me the classic:
“Can’t complain.”
Small-town Indiana?
“Oh, it’s going.”
And one of my favorites from a semester in rural Chile:
“Aqui estamos.”
Blessed and Highly Favored
A greeting perhaps, but also the inspo for songs, sermons, and the occasional meme.
I used to think this meant “I’m lucky, and I’m going to be luckier!” kind of sentiment. TLDR: I had it totally wrong.
Which brings us to a quick bible lesson:
In the New Testament, specifically Luke 1:28, we are told that the angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and said something like, “Greetings, you are highly favored!” Of course, it depends on which version of the New Testament you’re reading, but generally, Mary’s response is a skeptical “Excuse me, what?”
The idea of “favor,” in this context, is less “I have done a lot of good stuff in my life and deserve a favor” and more “I was chosen because I guess it’s understood by a third party that I can handle it.” Gabriel is telling Mary, before she even has an idea she’ll be giving birth to Jesus, that, “You are favored (AKA chosen) because we know you got this!” Think of it as an anticipatory pep talk you didn’t know you needed.
So when someone says this to you, my layperson's definition is this: “So far so good. (blessed) I don’t know what’s around the corner, but whatever it is, I can handle it. (highly favored)”
And your response? A very understanding and confident AMEN.
Baruch Hashem
“Baruch Hashem” is also not an easily discernible response. You good? Or bad? Or meh?
Chabad.org explains that it literally means “Blessed by G-d.” It’s similar to the idea of being favored, but it is fully focused on the present and not the future: “We are good with whatever is happening right now because it is blessed by G-d.” Interestingly, the few times “Baruch Hashem” is uttered in the bible, it is almost always by non-Jews: A king, a servant, a high priest. DJ Khaled?
In modern-day conversation, people will sometimes add an adjective to their response, giving us just a bit more info:
“Baruch Hashem, we are fine.”
Sometimes, it’ll appear later in the conversation.
“We found a parking spot right next to the venue, Baruch Hashem.” or “Baruch Hashem, the eggs were on sale.”
It’s still used predominantly by Orthodox Jews (or drag queens), but the general idea is this: even in the most mundane moments, G-d is there.
Your response? A simple, friendly nod, or you can give it right back to them: BARUCH HASHEM!
It’s OK Enough
The last three examples can really be lumped together.
The Yankee: “Can’t complain,” the midwestern “oh, it’s going,” and the South American Spanish “aqui estamos,” are just as non-committal as the two above.
Unlike the ones above, these leave the door open a bit wider. Sometimes, their next sentence tells us what’s really going on (or not in the case of most New Englanders).
“Can’t complain…..but you know.”
“Oh, it’s going….but it’s been better.”
“Aquí estamos pero uuuuf”
Even if you have no Spanish, you can probably guess what the last sentence means. “Aqui estamos,” translates roughly to “here we are.” Like words, or perhaps the lack thereof, context clues come in the form of body language, facial cues, or, in my case, no makeup and unbrushed hair.
And your response? Your guess is as good as mine.
Take care of your hearts.